Don't worry about the bottles

At a local derby between Arsenal and Spurs last season, a spectator. suddenly found himself in the thick of dozens of flying bottles.

'There's nothing to worry about, lad,' said the elderly chap standing next to him. 'It's like the bombs during the war. You won't get hit unless the bottle's got your name on it.'

'That's just what I'm worried about,' said the fan. 'My name's Johnny Walker

Home at half time

A man went off to a football match one Saturday afternoon, and while he was away his wife was 'visited by a 'friend' who just happened to be jogging past her house and was dressed in shorts and singlet.

The wife was happily entertaining him on the sofa when suddenly they heard her husband coming through the front door.

Quick as a flash, the visitor hid behind the large television set in the corner.

The husband came in and said,'It's started to pour with rain so I thought I'd come home and watch the second half on telly.'

He switched on the television and settled down to watch the game. After about twenty minutes the wife's visitor started to get severe cramp so, casting caution to the winds, he calmly got up from behind the set and walked out of the room.

The husband turned to his wife and said, 'That's funny - I didn't see the ref send him off.'

Fitness > Anaerobic Endurance > Fartleks

Fartlek

Drill: Sprint from points 1 to 6 and then back to 1. Rest at each point the given amount of time. You can alter the values in the diagram, but it must be done proportionally. Repeat 5 to 10 times.
Benefits: Fartlek drills, such as this one, are designed to get you fit quickly. Depending on the number of repetitions you complete, you will notice improvements in both your anaerobic as well as aerobic endurance. If you want to emphasize on the latter, shorten the resting time between reps

Alternating jogging and sprinting

Drill: Run on the given course altering between top speed sprinting and slow jogging. One complete circle counts as a single repetition. Adjust the distance between points accordingly and repeat 3 to 15 times depending on the course length.
Benefits: This drill improves glycogen burning, lactate tolerance and removal